Thursday, September 1

fear in three parts

 I awoke from a dream and was dismayed to find it was only 12:30am. But I didn't want to go back to sleep in case the dream resumed.  So, I got up and made coffee and started working. Now it's a couple of hours later and I went back to bed, but I still can't fall asleep.  So, I came here. 

In the dream I had met a neighbor who was also a single parent. We'd heard about a house in our neighborhood that was haunted, and the owners rented it out to people who wanted to spend a night in a haunted house. We decided to take the kids on a sleepover there. We lay in bed whispering, wondering if everything was a noise, the kids were giddy (they were all young in the dream.) I believed that the owners haunted the house themselves as a gimmick.  Mostly it was not scary but was that feeling that we associate with fear which is actually extreme anticipation.  I began to really like her as the night passed. A louder noise happened, and she pulled herself near me.  And I realized in that moment I liked that.  It felt kind of amazing. Then I realized we were probably supposed to be moving about to get the most out of this experience so we started creeping about and ended up what could best be described as a backstage. There were workers moving stuff and we found this old train that ran the perimeter of the property and asked if we could get on it. It turned out even the backstage was part of the story. So, we got on it and went through this whole side quest. And then it was getting to be time to take the kids to school, so we got in my pickup and took them. We had to walk them in, and her kid went to a different floor, so I offered that we could meet out front and I'd drop her at home. She seemed to bristle slightly and said she'd be fine. I said it's no trouble and she said something to the effect of she could take care of herself, which of course I never doubted and was confused as to why this offer seemed to have turned adversarial. So, I dropped off the kids and left. On the way out I saw her kids coat hook and there were carrots hanging on it, their ends tied together. I stopped and looked at them, curious but withdrawn now. It suggested someone playful, creative, healthy. I felt a little sad but wanted to get out before we crossed paths again.

Now I was walking outside and a woman in a sort of full body leather suit said something to me. I thought it was the neighbor woman at first and replied but quickly learned this was not the same person. She seemed to know me, though. She followed me and I tried to outmaneuver her, but she stayed pretty close. I tried to be clearer and more direct with her, saying that I didn't want her to follow me, I was going home now, etc. But she persisted. I began to get scared, and it was creating something close to nausea. I turned toward her and saw that whatever she was wearing partially obscured her vision. I took her by the waist and guided her weight first toward me and then down to the ground. She asked what I was doing, and I said setting her down so I could get away. There was a guy working nearby, sweeping the gravel parking lot we were in. (?) When I got a little distance between us, she asked him which way I was, and he pointed at me. This happened a few times, he kept being near her even though she was gaining on me. 

That's all I remember. I was running away but losing ground when I woke up.